I have had a lot of troubling with writing lately. I feel reassured tonight. I have to stop the pressure of uni assignments from getting to me. Hopefully I can share some new things I’ve been working on with you in the near by future.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone. I like eating alone, and listening to music alone. It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.
"If you’re dating a writer and they don’t write about you — whether it’s good or bad — then they don’t love you. They just don’t. Writers fall in love with the people we find inspiring."
Jamie Anne Royce (via drapetomania)
Nineteen years old on paper, but in my mind it feels like I’m fourty. Lost track of time with the countless days I’ve spent repeating thoughts in my head.
I hate the idea of you being underneath someone elses skin when I can still feel you lingering beneath mine. Your presence like the breath stuck in my throat and the knot tied in my tongue. For I can’t speak the words my heart beats up my spine just yet, because I’m out of breath, from chasing you for longer than I should have. Or so I think, because I’m not used to running towards people just running away, I mean I want to stay the night with you, I’m sick of leaving so late. Or early in the morning hours, cigarette between my teeth, hoping that the nicotine will magically erase the memory of your lips or our skin beneath the sheets. I can travel far, be out of arms reach, but I know I’ll always be the one who struggles with lack of sleep.
Sometimes I wish my sheets would suffocate me in my sleep so I wouldn’t have to wake up to the empty space beside me.
It sucks to see people you used to admire for being different dissolve into becoming just like everyone else.
"I am inside someone who hates me."
I want out of my own skin and out of my own damn mind.